So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
