Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I want to fling myself into the sun
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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