Man, jail baloney is awful.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
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There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
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So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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