if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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