he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.