He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Intervention is following me on twitter.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma