I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
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He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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