Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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