I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
