ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize