just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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