dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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