I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
