this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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