this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
