living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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