Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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