FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
