I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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