hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
