Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
