apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
