I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
