rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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