Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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