Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
