so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
