You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
