State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
