So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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