he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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