chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
