I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
