O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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