bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
