AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
