Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
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I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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