I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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