$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
