my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!