Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
babies were throwing up all over the place
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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