she woke up with a sticky ear
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize