I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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