Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
