sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
