My room smells like vodka and shame
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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