I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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