Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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