I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
