This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
