just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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