Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
