He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
