So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
