i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
