do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
