...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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