guys are not supposed to queef...right?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
